Blah

the phone rang sometime around 2am and startled tao out of sleep. he was more than a little annoyed over being woken up and mumbled an angry greeting as he answered.

“taooooooooo” the voice on the other end slurred

it sounded sort of like baekhyun. tao pulled the phone from his ear and squinted at the glowing display. 白贤.

“baekhyun” he mumbled. “this is not a good time.”

“i like your thighs” was the reply.

“what?”

“also your abs and your lips and your back and your eyes and your ass.” the words were fast and slurred and tao could barely understand coherent korean even when fully awake. 

“are you...” drunk? he wanted to ask but he couldn’t remember the word for it and the answer was pretty obvious anyway.

baekhyun continued as if he hadn’t heard him. maybe he hadn’t. “i think about them a lot. all the parts of you. you in general. other people too sometimes but mostly just you. like how it would feel to dig my fingers into your ass as you fuck me or how you’d look on your knees sucking me off. i want to tie you up and ride you. but you’re not even here and even if you were we don’t... do that. i just think about it sometimes. all the time. sorry.”

and then he hung up. 

it was way too many words spoken way too fast but living in the boy’s dorm in korea had taught tao all of the korean sex words really quickly and he was fairly certain that he had just heard baekhyun confess to fantasizing about him. he’d thought about it before, him and baekhyun, but they were vague fantasies mixed in with countless others. they were in the same group. they were supposed to be a family. allowing attractions to grow could only lead to problems. it wasn’t something he’d even thought could happen. but that was ruined now because tao didn’t think he’d ever be able to jerk off again without thinking about baekhyun, remembering his words, picturing what he’d suggested. 

he didn’t think he had ever been this hard before in his life. he spared a glance across the room at kris, who was still asleep, before shoving a hand into his boxers. he jerked himself off fast and rough thinking of hands and smiles and skin and words and baekhyun. his orgasm felt like a revelation. 

-

they didn’t speak again for several days.

“hey” baekhyun said when tao answered the phone “how are things going?”

he sounded normal. tao wasn’t sure how to respond. “everything’s fine” he replied

“that’s good. oh hey i think i called you when i was drunk the other day”

“i..umm yes.”

“sorry about that.” baekhyun said with a laugh “i can get pretty melancholy.”

melancholy was not the word that tao would use to describe it.

-

“tao” baekhyun whispered before breaking down into giggles.

tao froze with the phone against his ear. baekhyun was drunk and calling him and he didn’t know if he could deal with it a second time. 

“baekhyun” he replied cautiously.

the giggles on the other end of the line cut off. “don’t call me that” baekhyun said softly “call me baixian. i like it when you call me that.”

“i thought you said it was boxian now”

“that’s for everyone else to call me. but i want you to call me baixian. it feels special.”

tao’s heart raced in his chest. “baekhyun” he said and got a grunt of disapproval in reply. “baekhyun i can’t.”

“why not?” tao could hear the pout in his voice, could picture it in his head. it wasn’t helping him to deal with this situation.

“because you probably won’t even remember this call tomorrow and i will and it’ll mean something to me and i’ll start wanting things and that can’t happen. so i can’t call you baixian. i can’t let it become something that gives me hope for something that will never even happen.”

the line is completely silent for awhile. tao breathes in slowly, exhales. maybe baekhyun fell asleep, he thought.

“tao that wasn’t korean” baekhyun said finally. his voice was low and rough, almost a growl. he was right, tao realized. his almost confession had been in mandarin.

“sorry” he said, in korean this time.

“don’t. it’s...” baekhyun trailed off. his harsh breathing was broken by a soft noise, halfway between a gasp and a moan. and tao knew what he was doing, could picture him: teeth biting into his lip as his hands pulled caressed touched. 

“say something else” baekhyun pleaded and tao couldn’t resist.

“白贤” tao whispered. “我要性交你” i want to fuck you

it felt dangerous to admit even when baekhyun couldn’t understand, even when the only response was a deep moan. 

“我想你是美丽” i think you are beautiful

baekhyun’s breathing was rapid. he was nearly gasping with every breath. “tao please. please just... i’m almost... please.” he begged.

“我希望你会记得这个明天” i hope you will remember this tomorrow

baekhyun came with a sharp inhale and soft exhale. tao was sure that sound would be burned into his memory forever. he was painfully hard himself but he could deal with that later. the combination of alcohol and orgasm meant that baekhyun would probably only be awake for a short time longer.

“baekhyun” he said urgently. this was important.

“hmm” baekhyun hummed in reply.

“call me tomorrow. if you remember this and if you want it to be... something. please call me.”

“okay tao okay i’ll call you bye” baekhyun replied and then hung up.

as tao slid his hand into his waistband, he hoped.

-

baekhyun didn’t call the next day.

-

tao called chanyeol later that week.

“what’s baekhyun usually like when he drinks?” he asked. “because he’s called me a couple of times.”

chanyeol laughed. “oh yeah he gets really weird.”

tao squeezed his eyes shut and willed the disappointment away. “oh okay i just wanted to see if he acted like that with other people. but i guess he does so it’s not a big deal.”

“yeah he just shuts himself in our room and sulks.” chanyeol continued. “total downer.”

and then tao was back to his confusion and stupid hope that maybe he really was special. that maybe the phone calls meant something and maybe baekhyun thought he meant something.

he thanked chanyeol and hung up.

-

“tao i miss you”

the sound of baekhyun’s whine woke tao up instantly. he knew that voice, knew that tone, knew those long syllables. it had been too long since the drunken call when he’d talked baekhyun to orgasm and then offered a tiny piece of his heart only to end up disappointed. he’d gotten a couple more drunk calls from baekhyun since then, the phone’s ring dragging him from sleep at the most inconvenient hours, but he ignored them. he hadn’t been ready to deal with all of this again without knowing what he wanted. but he knew now.

“hello baixian” he whispered as he climbed out of bed and quickly headed into the bathroom. thankfully xiumin was still asleep across the room. he locked the door behind him and sank down to sit on the floor.

there was probably a trick to this that he would have to figure out. he needed to say the right words to lead to more of baekhyun’s heavy breathing and filthy tongue without getting his own feelings involved. and preferably without horribly embarrassing himself in case baekhyun actually did remember this call the next day.

“where’s chanyeol” he asked. there was no way he was going to do this if chanyeol was in the room with baekhyun. he still wasn’t sure if he could do this at all.

“i locked him out” baekhyun replied with a soft laugh. “i wanted to talk to you and he makes annoying faces at me when i do that”

tao filed that away as something to overanalyze later when he wasn’t trying to somehow initiate phone sex with a drunk person that may or may not even be interested in him.

“what are you doing” he asked and it came out awkward and unsexy and he probably needed to just give up because this was not going to get him anywhere.

“thinking about how you’d look on your knees with my cock in your mouth” 

tao sucked in a breath and pressed his hand against the hardening cock in his boxers. maybe this wasn’t going to be difficult after all.

“how would i look” he asked, his voice rough. 

“beautiful. your lips would be red and wet and swollen because i would have kissed you first. kissed you forever because i love your lips. but then you would sink to your knees and look up at me and your eyes tao i love them too and they would be dark and needy and it would hurt just a little bit in my chest because your eyes never hide anything and i’d be able to see that you want me just as much as i want you. that you-”

baekhyun broke off with a deep shuddering breath

“sorry i got a little off-topic” he said and tao wanted to scream in frustration because baekhyun had been about to say something and what if

but his cock was hard in his hand, precum wetting his fingers, and he wasn’t sure he could handle another disappointment if he was wrong.

“and then what” he asks roughly

“you’d grab my cock with your hand and lean forward to lick just the tip of it. and i would barely be able to hold myself together because of the feel of you. and you would look up at me with those eyes as you sink down, taking as much of me into your mouth as you can. you’d run your tongue all over my cock and i would be so fucking hard because of you. and finally you would swallow my cock, taking as much of it down your throat as you could and i would fucking come harder than i’ve ever come before because it’s you and it’s too much”

tao breathed heavily as he jerked on his cock, not even trying to hide his arousal. 

“yes” he said softly “yes i would”

“tao” baekhyun whispered and then broke off into a hitching breath that tao recognized as him coming.

tao pulled a couple more times on his cock before he too was coming, spilling hot over his hand with a harsh intake of breath.

“baixian” he breathed as he shuddered the last few drops onto the bathroom floor.

the connection was full of nothing but heavy breathing for a few minutes before baekhyun broke the silence.

“i should go” he said and then hung up before tao could respond.

tao leaned his head back against against the wall and took several deep breaths. that had gone better than he’d expected. 

-

the calls came somewhat regularly, one or maybe two a week. tao mostly listened as baekhyun rambled, different scenarios every time, different things he wanted to do to tao and wanted tao to do to him.

it became all tao thought about as he stayed up just a little bit later at night hoping for a call. he obsessed over every detail in their regular sober calls, searching for the tiniest hint that maybe baekhyun remembered. he listened and waited and hoped for words that might say that baekhyun felt something but there was nothing.

he worried sometimes that maybe baekhyun was drinking too often but he seemed fine both on-stage and off and no one else ever said anything about it. and selfishly tao didn’t want to lose baekhyun’s breathy moans and filthy words and soft sighs.

-

“i think i might be drunk” tao heard as he answered his phone.

“i think you probably are” he replied softly. he flicked open the button on his pants and lowered the zipper, glad to be alone in the room. 

“why did you call, baixian?” he asked as he slid his hand down into his pants. he’d been half-hard since he saw the name flashing on his phone. 

“why do you think i called?” baekhyun said teasingly

“i think you called to talk to me about how my dick would feel inside you”

there was a sharp inhale of breath and then a slight pause before baekhyun answered.

“yeah” he said softly “let’s talk about that”

normally baekhyun would start, with tao occasionally adding in. it was always hard to find the right words to say in korean and even harder when he had a hand on his cock and baekhyun’s voice in his ear. but after a brief awkward pause, tao realized that this time baekhyun was waiting for him to start.

“okay” he said, trying to end the awkward silence. he closed his eyes for a moment and thought about what he wanted to say, trying to pick out which words would go with the images flashing behind his eyes.

“i’d kiss you first” he said, a bit hesitantly “long and deep and slow. i could kiss you forever i think, just holding your face in my hands as i lean over you, pressing you down into the bed.”

“yeah” baekhyun said softly in his ear. he heard a rustling noise over the phone that sounded like baekhyun getting out of his clothes. tao’s cock twitched in his hand at the thought.

“but you’d get impatient with just kissing after a while. so i’d stop even though i wouldn’t want to and place my fingers against your lips and you would suck them into your mouth. you’d twist your tongue around them, sucking lightly, reminding me of how good it would feel if it were my cock instead. then i’d pull my fingers out and they would be so wet. i’d lean back and look down at you, naked and hard, legs spread waiting for me. and then i’d push one wet finger inside of you and-”

tao broke off as baekhyun hissed loudly in his ear

“baekhyun?” he asked softly

“i’m fine” baekhyun replied, voice straining slightly “keep going”

“okay” tao closed his eyes again and thought of what to say next. baekhyun’s breath was sharp in his ear and he listened closely to his hitching breath. he thought he could get off just listening to baekhyun touching himself but this wasn’t the time for that.

“you’d be so tight around me” he continued “tight and hot. i’d push my whole finger inside and wait for just a moment for you to get used to it. then i’d pull it out a bit and push it back in, fucking into you. i’d fuck you with the one finger until you begged for more and then i’d slowly push in with a second finger, still wet from your saliva but not quite wet enough. you’d hiss as it stretched you but you love feeling the burn.”

“fuck” baekhyun panted, breath coming in heavier now “tao wait. fuck”

tao hesitated as he waited for baekhyun’s breathing to calm. he pulled gently on his cock as he waited, precum wetting his whole hand.

“sorry” baekhyun said after a minute “i’m... doing it”

“doing what”

“what you said. with my fingers”

tao clenched his fingers tightly around his cock and gasped softly as he tried to push away the orgasm rising inside him. he could picture baekhyun, naked on his bed, long slim fingers pressing inside himself. 

“baixian” he breathed “fuck”

this was something new. everything before had been simply words and quickly jerking off before baekhyun hung up and passed out. this was different. everything about this call was different. this was something that baekhyun might remember. 

“i wish you were here” baekhyun whispered “so it could be your fingers in me instead, your cock in me instead”

tao could picture that now too, pulling baekhyun’s fingers out and replacing them with his own, twisting them hard in and out as baekhyun gasped and begged under him. and then taking them out and finally pushing his cock inside of baekhyun.

“you would feel so good around me” tao panted, now jerking himself off hard and fast. “so tight around my cock”

“tell me how you would fuck me” 

“slow” he replied and heard baekhyun whine softly in response “i’d take my time, slowly pushing inside and then sliding out. and you’d beg for more, beg for me to speed up but i wouldn’t. you’d be a wreck under me, digging your fingers into my back trying to get me to move faster, clenching tightly around my cock as i thrust in.”

“yes” baekhyun panted “yes. please”

“and then i’d reach down and wrap a hand around your cock and it would only take a few pulls before you came, scratching your nails hard down my back and you’d tighten even harder around me and then-”

“come for me” baekhyun said and tao did, shuddering hard and gasping as he spilled into his hand. through the haze of his orgasm he could hear the familiar sound of baekhyun coming with a sharp inhale of breath.

they were both silent for a couple of minutes as tao’s heart stopped racing and slowed. he felt completely wrung out.

“so that was different” he said “from the other times”

“yeah” baekhyun replied. there was something in his voice, a slight change in tone that tao didn’t understand. “i have to go”

he hung up before tao could say anything else. 

-